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April 16th, 2006

01:12 pm - Slice Last night was boring. We bought Rum and didn't even get drunk. That was my night. My day was stoned and annoyed. I smoked about a twamp-5 all together, walked around town, came home, went to Santa Rosa for my cousin's birthday party, came home, then left. Pretty fucking lame if you ask me. Today, I will do nothing. I fucking hate Sundays with no weed. Current Mood: cranky Current Music: Over My Head--Clit 45

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April 13th, 2006

08:33 am Wake and bake=sex I'm home from school today, and my mom comes home from work at 12:30, so Amy is coming over in a couple minuets. Chrissy did good yesterday! She usually never puts in for bomb. Yesterday she did. She stole a bowl from her dad's girlfriend along with her bubbler, then Alison had a bowl, and I had a hooked up dime from the day before. Fucking awesome. All I ever write about in here is drugs. Spring break starts tomorrow. I got no fucking idea what I'm doing next week. Fucking, I'll probably hang out with Corey and Alison? Hopefully Jimmy will call, I lost his number and I want someone to tweak with. Good shit, right? I'm fucking ready for summer. I got a month off when I was expelled from school in January, this is also the longest I've ever gone to school, so I need some time to myself. I'm going to put my make up on now. Current Mood: Stoned Current Music: Nowhere To Go--Varukers

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April 9th, 2006

02:18 pm - Shove It Up Your Ass I'm not stoned. I have been for the past three weeks, but not right now. Fucking idiot. I took a fucking shower, that doesn't mean I'm high. That means I fucking wanted to take a shower. I don't know. If that's how my mom is going to deal with my "drug use" then I'm just going to tweak/drink. She can't tell that my pupils are dilated if I have contacts in my eyes. It isn't my problem is she never wants to talk about why I use. She can play the victim game all she fucking wants. It's her only strategy, anyway. EDIT: Skinhead Johnny and I are going to hang out in about an hour. Fuck him. He better cheer me up. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Used To Have A Life--Clit 45

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April 8th, 2006

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April 4th, 2006

08:11 pm - Slip I am glad fuck_the_doors made it to Bakersfield and back okay... dude, I love you, but that's lame. don't smoke and drive, retards. No smoky today. Just resen. Fuck I'm not wanting to be on the internet right now. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Mama yelling

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April 2nd, 2006

10:22 pm - 2 And Haf What I really wanted to update on: I fucked around with a taken guy. Skinhead Johnny and I were hanging out at his house right after we hotboxed his truck. I really don't know why we started talking about tattoos, but we did, so he took his shirt off to show me the ones on his back/chest/stomach. Pretty skanky how it came about, actually. I mean he could be considered a slut, that is if anybody said dick about it. Anywho, marijuana in of itself is an aphrodisiac, that's not what I'm blaming it on, though. I'm blaming it on the fact that we are two people who were heavily intoxicated, highly attracted to each other, and are prone to do stupid things. It doesn't matter who started kissing who, because no matter how you look at it we both were kissing one another. And boy was it good. Yes, I did just completely disrespect Johnny's girlfriend. I've never met her. I'm sure she's a nice girl. The fact of the matter is that we boned and I liked it... a lot. Here I am thinking I'm a fucking lesbian, and suddenly Mr. White Trash 2006 comes along, and I'm thinking cock ain't so bad. I ain't going to psychoanalyze this shit right now. I'll do that when I get that asshole out of my fucking head. He's calling right now, though. I guess I'll answer the phone now. After 4 rings. 5. 6. 7. Current Mood: blah Current Music: England Belongs To Me--Cock Sparrer

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06:51 pm - Bloop Has anybody else seen those commericals for TLC, where they advertise some sort of figurene for why we're fucking the world, our children, etc. - up. I saw a few when I was stoned last Thursday, I thought I was seeing shit, but then I saw one this morning and realized I wasn't tripping. Totally weird. Current Mood: Fucked Current Music: T.V.--60 Minuets

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April 1st, 2006

08:51 pm I'm just going to smoke weed and drink from now on. Don't know why, but that's my choice. you are Warzone - straight from the Lower East Side (RIP Raybeez) What NYHC band are you?? brought to you by Quizilla Who cares if they brough "Patriotism" into NYHC, they're still awesome. Current Mood: Stoned Current Music: Skinhead Youth--Warzone

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March 31st, 2006

02:47 pm Fucking shit. I smoked the shittiest tasting weed yesterday. I was giggly high too, it was very weird. Then I smoked some Purple. That tasted much better! Why are there stupid people who use drugs? I mean, it's fine if the only thing you've ever done is smoke weed, but don't act like your G-d just because you fucking chugged a bottle cough syrup. DXM is such a debilitating high that I don't get why people enjoy it so much anyway. I love opiates, and not that I'm comparing opiates to DXM, but whatever: shit like heroin is (obviously) not the adventurous person's drug of choice, but euphoria, anyone? And if you're going to do it, at least take it pure. I'm so sick of hearing about how many gel capsols someone took before school. Fuck that and fuck you. You want a good fucking trip? I got a medicine cabinet full. That asshole never replied back. If you can't stand up to me, there's a problem. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: rain

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March 29th, 2006

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12:16 pm - Crisp Lovely, I'm on fucking probation now. Looks like I'm going to have to stick with drinking and pills for now. I'm going to shave my head again (like I have been since I got rid of my mohawk), just so I can even out my hair. Once it's all grown in and I stop hating it, I'm going to cut it to my ears and dye it pink. I really don't like it right now. I mean when it's about two days shaved I like it, but not three weeks of growth. I look like a fuzzhead. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Punk For A Day--Wasted Youth

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March 27th, 2006

02:09 pm - Are You Shitting Me? Hey, you fucking morons, there is a difference between bisexuality and bicuriousness. Just because your bicurious, doesn't mean your bisexual, it means you're fucking bicurious. Morons. Fuck. Enter, my rage: bicuriousgirls FUCK YOU FUCKING PEOPLE. Today's word of the day at school was 'Gay,' so I told someone to go gay their mom, and I got suspened. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Dishwasher making a funny noise

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March 26th, 2006

09:56 am - Drip Could Ian MacKaye be the single biggest threat in underground music history? I mean look at what he's done, he's responsible for sxe, AND emo. What a jackass. Just a thought. Current Mood: curious Current Music: In Control--Agnostic Front

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March 25th, 2006

10:34 pm - Pricks I smoked some lovely hash today with Nay-Nay! I haven't seen her since May and I swear it was so good to see her again. I ate dinner at about 5:30, then fell asleep, Robyn called me at 7 something, so I went to the Phoenix and saw Aaron's band. I was supposed to hang out with that turtle, but I ended up leaving. He told Robyn that the reason he didn't want to be friends with me anymore was because I'm too opinionated. Are you fucking kidding me with that shit? Rather, he said he couldn't be with me because I was too opinionated. Excuse me, but he made it perfectly clear that we were not going out. So, how could he not be with me, if he never was with me? All that means is that he wants someone he can control. He can't do that with me. Haha. No way in fuck can he. I just really don't get why people fuck with me like that. I'm one of two things: too young, or too much to handle. Why do they even get involved with me in the first place? It's all self-fulfilling. I don't get shit from it. It's all them. It's what works for them. They act like they care and they're sorry, but they don't. They don't give dick. Doesn't matter that I've NEVER had a boyfriend. I have no problem saying that I don't know how that shit works, but I don't think it works like that? I don't know. There's a guy named Harrison who unfortunately has a girlfriend. Another pointless, not even romp with a guy. There's something wrong with me, isn't there? At least I got my music. That won't fuck me. Current Mood: angry Current Music: We're On Heroin--Wasted Youth

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March 23rd, 2006

02:03 pm - Sip I've been hyper lately. Like, really hyper. I haven't smoked any bud in a day, but I'm leaving in a few minuets to hang out with Britany. We'll get blazed and I'll calm down then. fuck_the_doors and I are going to hang out tonight at about 10. I haven't seen him since we were 12. This is going to be weird. Current Mood: I want nicotine and I'm hyper Current Music: I Like Food--Descendents

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March 20th, 2006

05:44 pm - Suck The problem with mental illness is that the person cannot diagnose themselves, because they don't have that kind of insight. Psychosis? Sure. So what the fuck is wrong with me? G-ddamn crazy people. Thinking everybody else is crazy but not them. That leaves out the people who think they're crazy, but everybody else is sane. Fucking wackjobs. EDIT: I'm supposed to hang out with this guy Aaron on Friday who I met a while ago. He apparently does Nitrus and DXM. That's cool. I don't dig that shit. But I don't have anything against those kinds of highs. There's a good chance I could start using heavily if I start hanging out with him. I don't care. I want to. I hate my "Clean And Sober" school. I don't know. I always talk about how I want to bring people into my life, but I kick them out because of the shit that I do. I mean, I sometimes want to, so I can judge them and say they weren't ever really my friend to begin with. But it's just asking to blame someone, you know? Like, I want them to go, but I want them to stay at the same time. Does that make any sense? My lips are so fucking dry. Current Mood: thirsty Current Music: White Trash (2nd Generation)--Bad Religion

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March 19th, 2006

09:38 am - Cranberry Love is one of the most pointless inverters on the face of planet Earth. One minuet you like the person, the next you don't. Thanks for wasting two months of my life, dick. There is no dick, however. I'm just saying. I've never been in love. I never want to be in love. My attention span is all ready short enough, why should I hurt someone, and potentially get hurt in the process? It defies logic too. I don't like that. Plus it makes you open up to people. I'm just guessing that is. Have you ever noticed that crack looks like little pieces of soap? Domino's Pizza is so bomb first thing in the morning. Current Mood: content Current Music: Wasted--Black Flag

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March 18th, 2006

04:51 pm - Dick My puppy is playing with a large rock. We have hardwood floors so it's really annoying. She doesn't understand the concept of outside toys, and inside toys. I'm thinking about re-reading Dharma Punx? Well, reading it, peroid. I stopped when he got into sXe. It's kind of funny with that word: sXe. If you reverse the 'X' and the 'E,' it's sex. Anyway, I don't know why, I just do. I never realized how easy it was to buy weed in Petaluma. Sounds lame, right? I'm a stoner and TODAY came upon the concluion that marijuana is an easy substance to aquire. I bought a dime of this guy that I haven't seen is a while. I was supposed to go to the drugstore. Well, in a sense I did! I was walking by a liquer store, and I bought drugs. Ha. Gotcha. I want to smoke the shit out of it. Tomorrow night at the Phoenix there is a Electronica show. My brother is playing, so I will be there. If there are any Goth kids I'll beat their asses. You can count on that. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Vegan Song--Ashtray

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11:04 am - Private get really fucking shit-faced and then pass out in front of a gas station bathroom, have your "best friend" call your mom and then leave you there for the pigs to deal with. I said that they should just leave me there to die. I also said I'm too ugly to save. That's a blurb from an entry wrote on May 10, 2005. I don't remember how many days I had been out of the hospital? I'm so ashamed by it. I mean, I remember laying on the concreet saying I was too ugly to save, and thinking I didn't mean it. I have a problem with letting myself feel, but I was drunk off my ass, if I get that gut feeling it really must be true. I didn't know I said that until last night when I read that entry. It surprised me. I mean, I think I was in big need of help then. I was. If I weren't I wouldn't have tried to kill myself twice in a two week period. I've only started dealing with this shit in the past couple months. I want my parent's to leave so I can smoke a cigarette. There's a book the my Grandma sent to my mom: "Parents Guide to Top 10 Dangers Teens Face." Some of my favorite dangers are: Satanism, Homosexuality, and Pornography. What if your child is a homosexual, Satanist, who loves pornography? Are they trippely at risk? And more importantly, what are they at risk for? You ponder that while I go get the cat hair off my sweater. Current Mood: content

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March 17th, 2006

08:30 pm - Whore I "undeleted" my journal because I felt that the internet was a good place to vent my... whatever. Yeah. You all missed me didn't you? Not. I am watching Dr. Phil right now. Yes, Dr. Phil. I'd tap that ass. "Did you know that you just sucked my dick because you have issues with your father?" No, Phil, I did not know that! That's so interesting. So can you tell me why I'm watching your show? "Yes, because you have no life." P.S. go add fuck_the_doors. Current Music: T.V.--Dr. Phil

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